Dear Knickerbocker

Dear Knickerbocker,

Why is it so hard for girls and guys to hang out without the rest of the campus making assumptions that they are more than just friends? 

November Issue Supplement

Dear readers,

These are questions that I think are worth answering (yes, I included the ones I thought were funny) but, due to space limitations, I could not publish them in the newspaper. So feel free to read them and be edified.

Dear Knickerbocker,

So…there’s this girl. What do I do?

You know, the usual.

Dear Knickerbocker,

In the likely event of a Russian invasion, where is the school armory?

Unfortunately, Crown does not have an armory. But, fortunately for us, the U.S. and Russia have been friendly for quite some time (indeed, our real “enemy” was the U.S.S.R., not Russia).

Dear Knickerbocker,

What do I do about this rash between my cheeks?

See a doctor soon, my friend.

Dear Knickerbocker,

So what if I want to put some of the stuff I write in the Crown paper, but I don't want to try to show it off. Should I just keep my gift of writing between me and God?

It seems to me that you are worried about being prideful. The fact that you’re asking yourself this means that you are watching out for pride. This is a good sign. It would be alright for you to publish some of your work, as long as you keep looking out for prideful thoughts. As long as you’re not falling into them, publishing your work will not be a problem in and of itself.

My advice to you would be to try it out. Maybe your work won’t get published, maybe it will. But the way you can get the clearest picture for yourself of your intentions is what happens inside you after the works are actually published. So go ahead and test yourself. By sharing what sounds like a method of your worshiping God with others, they will also be enabled to share your heart of worship.

Dear Knickerbocker,

My roommate thinks he's a great artist, and I want to encourage him, but his stuff is really mediocre. Should I just let him believe his delusions?

I sure hope your roommate isn’t the one who posted the last question. I will always suggest openness and honesty. They’re huge issues in my life and I value them very highly in any kind of relationship. That being said, try to find specific ways you can constructively critique his work. Don’t just tell him he’s terrible and leave it at that. Suggest ways that he can improve upon his work. A very important thing to remember, though, is that you need to come at this as his friend and tell him in a way that will help him improve, not tear him down.

Dear Knickerbocker,

What is the best hobby for us poor college students?

I would gladly give you my opinion but I caution you to take it as opinion, not fact. Nerf wars, my friend.

Dear Knickerbocker,

I am deeply and madly in love with you, but cannot work up the courage to tell you. What should I do?

Well, I’m guessing this is a guy (merely a guess though…so…) but you can tell me, it’s alright. I’m a pretty accepting guy; I’m not going to reject you flat out. But if you truly can’t work up the courage, just put an anonymous note in my mailbox (#374). You could tell me how much “God flippin’ loves [me]” and how “f’ing amazing” I am. ;)

Dear Knickerbocker, 

God has told me it is not my time for a girlfriend right now, but recently everything is falling into my lap as if He's telling my I'm ready, What do I do?

I’m not gonna make it easy for you. If God says it’s not time, it’s not time, man. Starting a relationship that you know is wrong isn’t going to end well. And maybe this relationship is what God has waiting for you, but it isn’t what He has for you now. Have patience and wait on the Lord’s gift in the Lord’s time. The only way you can be truly happy is to be in the center of God’s will and, no matter how attractive this relationship seems, it’s not going to satisfy you nearly as much as God’s will can.